2/5 86 Baffling Minutes
  by J. Ross (Adelaide, Australia)
This is the most baffling 86 minutes committed to film.

The story of Jono (Ed Kavalee) having sex with a meat mincer and getting the penis of a porn star grafted on is somewhat lost amongst the many inexplicable subplots. None of which made sense or advanced the story in any way.

There's a series of scenes where Sammy Loora goes to the pie shop. I know that's his name because he gets his own title card and theme song each time he appears. He plays no part in the actual story. There are multiple 'self-amusement' scenes. They play no part in the actual story. Mandy (Jo from Big Brother Australia 2003) and Fiona (Aphrodite from Big Brother Australia 2004) have an in-depth discussion about the legality of the Iraq War as they wax each other, purely to set up a 'Bad Bush' joke. There's gratuitous nork action, jelly wrestling, bestiality, trannies and watersports. Jono's mum looks like a man and 28 Days (A band popular in the late 90s/early 2000s) appear onstage for roughly 5 seconds. During the credits we get treated to home-video footage of kangaroos in a zoo, Japanese schoolgirls cuddling a guy in a koala costume (he appears all through the movie not doing anything relevant at all), and Austen Tayshus chasing an emu (which was filmed without permission from the emu's owner).

Going Down Under is 86 minutes of utter bewilderment. There is no point whatsoever to this film.

1/5 -10 if that was possible
  by Daniel G. Lebryk
Just don't even think about this film. It is a huge mess. If you think American Pie with a deli meat slicer is a good idea or even remotely funny - you are the target audience. My guess, only people that had something to do with the production of this film will enjoy watching it. Their families would be too grossed out to admit they watched it. For the rest of us, it's just not worth watching.

It's not clear what this movie is even about. It's an Australian film, full of Australian slang about sex. I think somebody says barbie at one point, thank you Crocodile Dundee. But more importantly, was it to string together a bunch of very not funny jokes in a nonsensical way? Was it a jiggle movie? Was it somebody's first film that is experimental? Was it some joke that only herbal cigarettes would make funny? No matter, it loses on all these counts.

Nothing makes any sense. If the stories were funny, the people pretty, the scenes senuous, the scenery beautiful, the camera work good, the social commentary there; the film has some potential to work. But instead the jokes are all really bad, not the least bit funny - straight or not straight jokes, no matter. The sensuous scenes are all intercut with some horribly grotesque person dressed in drag, or watching, or doing something to themselves; or worse the joke turns toward skat or menstration. They are just plain awful. The locations are ugly suburban houses. The camera work is the worst I've seen in ages, High School students do better than this. There's some bone thrown to gay rights, it's so badly executed that nobody cares. The charactures are so over the top bad, no gay person would ever do, act, or dress the way these people do.

Oh it's just a painful movie. Please, there is nothing redeeming here.

3/5 Going down under
  by bigboyone (johnson city , tn)
rented the ususal copy from blockbuster, ok. thought, get unrated copy and see what was added. NOTHING MUCH I COULD TELL. not bad , but thought maybe unrated edition would help story line. nada.