1/5 Boring and unengaging
  by R. E. Johnson (Salem, OR)
Wow, this was a slow, boring and totally un-engaging film. I could not find anything about this story to relate to, or connect with... at all. The plot is not very interesting. The humor is NOT very funny. I never laughed out loud once. The actors are great actors, but this film did not really show anything about their abilities. I felt like it was a thrown together movie, with a small budget that just gave these actors an opportunity to work together. Some speaking segments were cliche - I didn't know movies still had "Step on it!" in them. It's very clean however except for one blurry video image. The ending was better than expected, but I was not expecting much.

Glad some people enjoyed this film. I'm not trusting Amazon reviews anymore though. The reviews here were high, but my experience with the movie was low.

4/5 Fun, Quirky and Sweet
  by Kelly Klepfer (Iowa)
Quirky characters and a fun plot make this a movie a great escapist mini-adventure. I'm drawn to slightly off-kilter films and this one fits the bill. Three men, Macy, Walken and Freeman each have a passion for one particular painting or statue in the museum where they work. After years and years of emotional connectedness to their art they discover the pieces will be traveling to Denmark. When following the art, uprooting their lives to be with their paintings/statues, proves impossible, they plan the next best thing...grabbing their pieces and making them their own.

Almost slapstick at times, the film moves fairly briskly after the plan is hatched and the pieces begin to fall into place. Walken is deadpan and anxious and charmingly himself. Freeman plays an accomplished painter who has painted "his" painting many, many times but lacks the certain aura. His cats keep him company when he is not obsessing over his lovely painting. Macy plays a military man who may or may not have served anywhere even though his tales imply near-superhero skills.

Those who don't like slow-moving character pieces or artsy-quirky fun probably should skip it. Also, if you don't particularly want to see Macy's naked behind several times, well, this isn't the film for you. He poses. Often. Not creepy as much as it is just weird.


3/5 Only watch if you're really bored.
  by Demario Moore (Memphis,Tennessee USA)
Why exactly do people like Christopher Walken? He plays the same strange character in every movie he plays in. This movie is no exception. The Maiden Heist is about three old guys that decide to steal art from a museum after finding out that the exhibit is closing. What's crazy is the fact that they never explain why these guys are so in love with this artwork. Both Morgan Freeman and Christoher Walken seem to be madly in love with these paintings. William H. Macys character is in love with a bronze statue that he poses in front of completely nude. This is not a bad movie. It has veteran actors that make it tolerable. However, Seems like these old actors were just sitting around and decided to make a movie. I really don't no how to categorize this film. It's not very funny, there is no real action, nothing sad happens. This movie want stir up any emotions. It's the kind of movie you watch on a Saturday afternoon when there is nothing else to watch. Just download it and maybe watch it someday.

4/5 A Charming Film
  by D. A Wend (Buffalo Grove, IL USA)
The prior reviews of The Maiden Heist have given a good idea of the story of this film. To those I have some non-spoiler comments.

The Maiden Heist, to judge from the clapboards, was originally titled The Maiden Lady from the painting that Christopher Walken is obsessed with. This film answers the question if museum guards actually like the art they protect. The three guards of the story - Christopher Walken, Morgan Freeman and William H. Macey - are all obsessed with different pieces of art. They feel very protective about their art so when they learn that the entire exhibit will be moved to a museum in Denmark and replaced by some avant-guard art, they decide to save their favorites.

Morgan Freeman plays a soft-spoken affable man who enjoys drawing and painting; William H. Macey's character claims he was a Marine but changes his combat stories and Christopher Walken is a quiet homebody who daydreams about protecting his Maiden Lady from ant harm. Marcia Gay Harden has a marvelous supporting role as Christopher Walken's wife who-must-be-obeyed.

The fun of the film is that the three guards fumble their way through the heist. There are many funny scenes in the film but also some that stretch the imagination. The conclusion of the film is one of real charm and understanding. The DVD comes with bonus features that include a making of the film, deleted scenes and bloopers. The many scenes that were deleted struck me as wise decisions. The performances are what make this film and are excellent even when the material is lacking.




4/5 Cute Caper Comedy
  by Michael B. Druxman (Austin, TX)
Directed by Pete Hewitt, this clever, offbeat little caper comedy is enhanced by a subtle script from Michael Lesieur and delightful performances by four of today's finest character actors.

William H. Macy, Morgan Freeman and Christopher Walken are honest security guards in an art museum, but when they learn that their three favorite artworks are being transferred to a museum in Denmark, they concoct a plan to switch the real masterpieces with fakes.

It's the blind leading the blind as these incompetent thieves put their plan into motion and, according to "Murphy's Law," anything that can go wrong, does in this laugh-out-loud comedy.

Marcia Gay Harden co-stars as Walken's wife, who has a "surprise" coming her way before the movie's finish.

DVD extras include director/writer audio commentary, a "Making of" featurette, deleted scenes and bloopers.


© Michael B. Druxman