2/5 If Dorian Gray Was A Vampire From New Jersey
  by Robert I. Hedges
I gave this movie two stars solely for the presence of Conrad Brooks and Dolores Fuller, B-movie heroes from the classic Ed Wood days. The movie itself is, however, horrible. It is extremely difficult to follow and has numerous pointless plot elements introduced at seemingly totally random times. The film, directed by Karl Petry, has exceptionally bad acting and possibly the worst accents I can ever recall in a motion picture. Combine that with amateurish editing, very bad music, and awful sound effects and this is a pretty potent package.

The movie is highly narrated to keep the plot as lucid as possible. The storyline itself concerns an outbreak of vampirism in Newark, although much of the film is shown as a flashback to World War One. There are subplots about a woman becoming impregnated by a ghost on a washing machine in an amusement park, as well as spontaneous casket combustion. Important legal and ethical questions are also introduced: the ACLU says that vampires have rights as a minority, while the Veterans Administration becomes involved because the vampirism is a service related injury. If this all sounds like a mess, it is.

This is one of the least coherent, incompetently made films I have ever seen, and I can't recommend it except for the amusing presence of Brooks and Fuller.

The highlight of the film for me was the credit line that read "Creative Consultant Zak Snygg", so at least the credits have some entertainment value.

1/5 If you find it in a pawnshop
  by Anna M. Snyder (goose creek, sc)
Listen vampire lovers, this movie, was really bad. I mean, I have seen worst. But, if you are expecting alot, just don't bother. It's boring, its a really low grade b movie and just doesn't hit the mark...

4/5 "Conrad Brooks...Dolores Fuller...Johnny Link...Karl Petry ~ Ironbound Vampire (1998)...Alpha New Cinema"
  by J. Lovins (Missouri-USA)
Alpha New Cinema Video presents "THE IRONBOUND VAMPIRE" (1998) (90 mins Color) . . . . . Under Karl Petry (director/screenwriter/producer), John Granata (film editor), Jerry Shuman (makeup artist), Doc Frankenfield and Raven Strombringer (special effects) . . . . . cast includes Dolores Fuller (Theresa Powell), Conrad Brooks (Ambrose), Deana Enoches (Nadia), Richard Matyskiel (Tom Lane), Suzanne Lenore (Dr. Helen Williams), Dennis Drenth (Detective Eric Steele), John Link (John), Jennifer Byrne (Nikki), Edson De Carvalho (Boy in Chair), Lauren J. Clancy (Patty), Patricia De Raimo (70's Vampire runner), Katherene Bledsoe (50's Vampire runner), Eleanor Bree (40's Vampire runner), Stanley Kaczor (30's Vampire runner), Buttje (Drug addict), Richard Poplaski (Policeman at carnival), Jo-Ann Barton (Lounge singer), Angela Savino (Young Theresa Powell), Bob Misiewicz (Flisser, Sy) . . . . . our story has the makings of a bigger budget film if not for the lack of funds...the plot opens with a dying World War I soldier turned vampire leads a secluded life in the shadows of a Newark suburb...our director lays out the killing as only he must and guiltily indulging his characters sinful sexual appetites...will an investigative writer trace him to his abode and threaten to reveal his horrific secret...carefully watch each scene in the soulless world of Karl Petry's vampires feeding on the locals of New Jersey.

BONUS FEATURES:
1. Play
2. Scene Index
3. Special Features - Outtakes and bloopers
4. John Link vs. George Hansen Interview -
Vampire debate with Johnny Link
5. Trailer
6. Previews

Great job by Alpha Video for releasing "The Ironbound Vampire" (1998)...looking forward to more releases from director Karl Petry...order your copy now from Amazon or Alpha Video where there are plenty of copies available on DVD, stay tuned once again for Alpha New Cinema with another great underground production with Dolores Fuller and Conrad Brooks, just the way we like 'em.

Total Time: 90 min on DVD ~ Alpha Video 1010D ~ (10/26/2004)

2/5 Yes! You Too Can Be A Movie Director!...
  by Bindy Sue Frønkünschtein (under the rubble)
A true piece of rancid head-cheese, THE IRONBOUND VAMPIRE has the look and feel of the kind of movie I'd make, which is why I'm NOT a movie director! Scenes jump about, making little or no sense. I know it's about a hippie vampire guy and his harem of toothy ghoulfriends, but the rest of the characters were so bloodless, they all seemed undead! This one gets an extra star for the naughty gal-pal stuff near the end...

1/5 The anti movie
  by R. Stowe (Green mountain state)
Some years back, movies entered the anti-hero era. the heroes became less defined, less pure. This movie may be trying to go one better on that one. It may be an attempt to begin the anti movie era. The acting, writing, lighting, etc. are just plum awful. One favorite moment is where the lead vampire says "I could have been a great actor." There is a dramatic pause afterward where I was wanting somebody, anybody to ask him: "So what happened?" I can't imagine who might like this movie...I really can't. If you go ahead and buy it anyway, don't say I didn't warn you.