5/5 Spacebabes, Monsters, you can't go wrong?
  by K. Spiteri (Hollywood, CA)
I totally enjoyed Spacebabes Meet the Monsters. Yes, I popped a bowl of popcorn and set back on my comfy couch and hit play. If you're a fan of low budget monster films of the 50s and 60s, this is your gem for your dvd collection.

Hot Spacebabes, big sets, awesome costumes, great effects, mutants, and a monster. And don't forget a great cast Patrick MacNee (The Avengers), Daniel Roebuck (Lost), William Sanderson (True Blood), Duane Whitaker(Feast), Chuck Williams (The Telling) and Bob Burns (The Ghost Busters). Check it out for some good comedic fun.

The only low budget aspects of the film were done on purpose and were there for humor, for a example, the spaghetti strainer mind reading device..., hysterical.

Director Kathe Duba-Burnett has scored a hit with all the sci-fi fans!

Then to wrap it all up, a original song "My Name is Gary" from the very talented Frank Black (The Pixies)

1/5 Fetid rubbish
  by A. P. Stafford (Sydney, Australia)
I was going to use terms such as "abomination" to describe this, but those terms should be reserved for snuff movies or things that show realistic sadism and similar sickos. This isn't one of those.

I think it is supposed to be a spoof of low budget post-apocalyptic movies, with some spacebabes for good measure.
The basic joke is that is really low budget. Frankly, that isn't funny. It is a one joke movie, and the joke isn't funny. Most post-apocalyptic movies are really low budget anyway, which is one of the thinks that makes them bad, and to mimic bad means you get more of the same. I did not manage to raise a smile once.

I think they were trying for the "so-bad-it's-good" effect but went way too far and ended with fetid garbage.

You have no idea just how low budget this is!

Take the sets. Mostly, this movie is set in the desert, and the cast just wander around. Parts of it are filmed in what appears to be an abandoned trailer park, and the scientist's lab at the start is a disused shed with graffiti painted on the inside. The "prospector's house" is actually a sofa and chair out in the open. These pieces of furniture appear to have been aquired from the rubbish tip and have stuffing spilling out of the worn upholstery.

The props are even worse. At one stage, our heroes are stuck to a wall with colanders on their heads. Yes, I mean colanders! You know, the things in the kitchen. Metal bowls with a handle on each side and a number of small holes in them for draining the water out when you wash the vegetables. In the movie, they were supposed to be torture devices, or they were supposed to drain their brains, or perhaps they were supposed to humiliate the "actors" so badly that they would be too embarrased to ask for money for appearing in this rubbish.

The "time machine" is actually two brass hula-hoops tied together. The idea is, you stand inside the hula-hoops, the man in the gorilla suit pulls a wooden leaver in the carboard box, and you are transported in time. Yes, that is a scene from this movie. Honestly!

Originally, this movie was to be called "The Low Budget Time Machine", and you can see what they mean by low budget. However, they realised this wouldn't sell, so the title was changed to "The Spacebabes Meet the Monsters" in the hope that the title was humorous and that somebody would want to watch the spacebabes, which brings me to the spacebabes.

When you think "spacebabes" you think of hotties in spandex catsuits, silver hot-pants or "space bikinis" with a cape. Right? Well, not in this. The women in this wore bronze coloured garbage bags and what appear to be wigs. Have you ever been to an outdoor sporting event where it rained and some of the spectators have forgotten their wet weather gear, so they get some garbage bags and cut one hole in them for their head and two more holes for their arms? That is what these girls (?) were wearing, except that they were in "futuristic bronze". They were NOT sexy. In some cases they were not recognisable as women. I honestly thought one was a man, until I saw it didn't have an adam's apple.

Which brings me to the subject of talent.

There was none.

Even the happless Patrick Macnee was bad. Remember him from the "Avengers" and the "New Avengers" on TV? Have you seen him since? No? Now I know why. He appears at the start of this and acts as narrator. He appears to have been drinking, heavily, for the last thirty years and all those binges have taken their toll.

This movie has three redeeming features:

1) It is mercifully short, lasting only three quarters of an hour.
2) The fast forward feature has NOT been disabled, so you can fast forward through most of it. This doesn't effect your ability to understand what is going on because the dialoge is so repetitive or meaingless that you can miss huge chunks of it without any loss.
3) Nobody who had anything to do with this movie will be allowed near a movie camera again.

Don't watch this rubbish. Even if you are a masochist,don't watch it. It is just a wast of time.