3/5 Aww, come on, I liked it!
  by Robert P. Beveridge (Cleveland, OH)
Skinned Deep (Gabriel Bartalos, 2003)

Gabriel Bartalos is usually a special effects guy. Gabriel Bartalos is usually a very good special effects guy. A roster of the films on which he's worked reads like a who's who of cult film, including Brain Dead, From Beyond, two of the Cremaster films, and Darkman, among many others. For all that, Bartalos has only made one attempt, to date, to jump over into the chair of writer/producer/director. Submitted for your approval is that attempt, the comedy Skinned Deep. To give you an idea, the movie starts out with what is, anecdotally, an actual scene of self-mutilation. It does get funnier from there.

Skinned Deep is the story of the weirdest family since The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Most all of them are hideously deformed and pretty badly socialized. This is not necessarily a bad thing, so long as they keep to themselves and only the odd traveller disappears now and then. But things get complicated when Brain (Jay Dugre), one of the family, falls for one of the kidnap victims.

This movie is awful to the bone, but it's awful in so many wonderful, wonderful ways. Bad acting, worthless script, terrible pace, the works. But all of these things somehow come together to make for an absolutely hilarious experience a la Kingdom of the Spiders or Shriek of the Mutilated, except that this one was never meant to be taken seriously in the first place. As long as you're willing to not take it too seriously, you'll have a ball watching this. ** ½


3/5 Good for a laugh
  by M. Tapp (Oklahoma)
If you like laughing at horrible horror movies (and by horrible i mean poorly made with bad acting, audio, and virtually everything else) then this is a five star movie. if you want a serious movie look elsewhere. warwick davis (plates) puts out some good acting, but other than that it was horrible.

1/5 This movie sucks so bad that I can barely explain.
  by John Bradley (South Bend, IN)
Bad story based on a bad plot that's already been re-hashed a thousand times before. Bad actors. Bad dialogue. Bad direction. Bad production. Bad effects. Bad costume design. Bad set design. Not even good in that bad b-movie sort of way, or even in a juvenile "my kids made this for their high school project" sort of way. Nope. Nothing. If you really feel like being cruel and want to laugh at someone's complete failure, then I guess you might have reason to watch this movie.

To top it off, in the behind-the-scenes feature on the DVD, Willow/Wicket describes the what's-his-name director as genious. The whole thing is a self-admiring plummet into empathetic emarrassment. If this movie is good, then why are there 50 used copies for sale at Amazon for less than what you can rent it for?

Oh, and dude needs to shave the pubes and get on an enzyte routine or something.

4/5 "Shakes vs. willow"!
  by J. Shadley
I Dont understand why this got so many bad reviews? This is a CLASSIC horror movie! It reminded me of House Of 1000 Corpses meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Horrible acting, Horrible soundtrack, but to make up for all that........great plot, and great characters. If you are a big fan of 70's & 80's slasher films, this is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!

5/5 I couldn't believe my eyes.
  by Jeffrey Z. Larkin (Savannah, Georgia)
Me and my friends are really into terrible horror movies, and this one had us rolling on the floor, our sides splitting open in pure, unadulterrated glee. This is one of the worst written, filmed, edited and acted movies i've ever seen, but what makes this movie spectacular is that through some fluke, all of this bad multiplies itself into a wonderful piece of comedy. In my opinion, the film climaxes when Brian, a lonely member of a sick family, has a day dream about running through new york city, completely naked save his large brain and work boots. We watched that scene through seven times and could not stop laughing. I highly recommend this film to anyone who has a sense of humor and an afternoon or evening to waste. Your life will never be the same.