1/5 The Worst Of The Worst
  by Daniel G. Lebryk
There is absolutely nothing in this film worth watching. In fact if it were possible, this should be zero or negative stars.

It's so bad, it's not funny. No this is just plain old flat out awful. The pretext, teach girls how to use the pole to make money. Oh my goodness this just goes wrong everywhere.

The film is shot in a warehouse with three rooms. A made up strip club with red curtains, a stage, and a "bar". The next room is an office with a desk, a chair, and a computer. The last room is a slightly larger workout room, concrete floors and some kind of walls, nothing else. Everything happens in these two rooms (oh sorry, there's an exterior shot). It's just plain awful.

Where to start with the bad. There's some creepy guy in a suit at then end of the stage that tosses money at the girls and way over acts. He sort of does the same acting over and over again. The dancers are really not pretty at all. The plot makes no sense whatsoever. The high roller guy is just plain stupid. The dancers each try their luck on the stage, and each one is more miserable at dancing than the previous one. But you get to see the dancing action for minutes, way too long, up close and personal with each girl. The dancers are mostly retired club girls. And the music is awful.

You know that cover art, never see it anywhere in the film. Nobody even remotely looks like those three. The house, never in the film.

A real stinker. Pass by this one and hold your nose. There is absolutely nothing senuous about this film. Oh, and if you had to be reminded it's unrated, but it would barely get an R rating for toplessness, nothing else. Uncensored is right, the MPAA wouldn't waste their time rating this mess. Nobody at any age should ever see this film.

1/5 Don't Enroll in Stripper Academy
  by Carl Danby (Pittsburgh, PA United States)
This is a terrible movie, neither sexy nor funny. They spent their entire $5 budget on a slick looking DVD cover. The star/writer/director (Vincent Foster) resembles the offspring of a union between Bruce Campbell and Will Farrell, but he has none of their wit and charm. The strippers have no moves or sex appeal, but considering they only have a stage as big as a kitchen table to work with - and a pole that occasionally shifts due to not being anchored in any way - you can't entirely blame them. To add to the complete lack of laughs or sensuality, constant recurring gags include a 400 pound flatulent female stripper and an inexplicable pair of male crossdressers. Don't get me wrong, I love dumb B-movies, but this is absolutely horrible. It couldn't arouse anyone if it came with free Viagra.