2/5 Train to Nowhere
  by Nathan Beauchamp (Oak Park, IL USA)
This is an unimpressive movie. Not because it was low budget (it was) nor because of the tenuous quality of the CGI (the exterior shots of the train resemble the surreal animation of The Polar Express and look more like an HO model train than the real thing) and not even because of the relative quality of the story. The problem with this film is execution. A cautionary tale of the consequences of degrading ones morals for potential reward, it could be compared to The Monkeys Paw by W.W. Jacobs, or the Sci Fi mini series The Lost Room, but unfortunately NIGHT TRAIN doesn't deliver much of a payoff for the viewer. Combine that with some downright silly plot elements, sprinkle in some bad acting, and you're left with a forgettable movie best saved for late night television. It's not impossible to enjoy, but you should go in expecting it to watch like a two hour long episode of the Outer Limits.

The action of the film takes place around a mysterious box in the possession of man who boards the train and then dies of a combination of sleeping pills and vodka. The box contains something very valuable, and the three main characters spend the rest of the film ascertaining what to do with its contents.

The attempts to flesh out the characters are clumsy at best. Especially bad is the hackneyed relationship between the main conductor and protagonist (Danny Glover) with his younger assistant. This relationship is so poorly constructed that it's painful to watch.

The setting of the movie is an issue for me. The poorly rendered CGI train is hurdling through a landscape that looks like the surface of the moon but with snow. No cities, no lights, nothing. I guess it could be Alaska, but location is never explained. This becomes a problem when the total isolation of the train which is presented early in the film as a given is completely undone later on. First, we learn one of the protagonist is returning from a work Christmas party. Then we learn that the train is making several stops. Then there is a random (and all too convenient) road running alongside the tracks which allows the introduction of a police detective (again all too convenient). It seems like the movie can't decide if this train is running through a remote wilderness devoid of the assistance of society or if it is not in fact, isolated. It wants to play both sides of the field.

The most laughable moment is when one character seals another into a sleeping berth using electrical tape around the edges to allegedly suffocate them. The man sealed inside IMMEDIATELY starts complaining that he can't breath. I mean come on, even assuming the audience can buy that sleeping berths are capable of being hermetically sealed in the first place, the air would not run out in a space that large for something close to an hour. Couple that with the character's total lack of imagination or energy to try and escape (no kicking the door, no using a belt of keys or anything else to try make a hole, etc...) and what your left with is another super convenient plot device. Lazy writing indeed.

NIGHT TRAIN really falls to pieces in the final act when it tries to reveal too many things too quickly and ends up muddling all of them together and making none of them significant. Too little groundwork is laid to support much of what takes place at the end of the film, and much of it feels tacked on, or even worse, unimportant.

The final scene is confusing and poorly done. The box is finally opened, but all we see is a golden glow similar to Jule's suitcase in Pulp Fiction and the primary question surrounding its true nature is never answered. This is again, just lazy writing and poor execution.

Ultimately, this is a movie that isn't worth owning. It might be worth renting if you enjoy Outer Limits/Twilight Zone types of movies. Just don't expect too much from it and you just might not be disappointed.

2/5 Stars.

4/5 So THAT was Richard O'Brien...
  by M. Stone
I bought this film based on the premise and the fact that I was familiar with the 3 lead actors. As the credits rolled, I noticed another familiar name, far down the list - Richard O'Brien. Since he was the creator and star of one of my favorite films of all time, I thought it would be kind of intriguing to see what he looked like after all these years. Since his glory days as Riff-Raff in his classic "Rocky Horror Picture Show", he has made cameos in a bunch of movies, including "Elvira's Haunted Hills", but not much recently. As the film rolled on, I got so caught up in the plot that I realized I had not seen anyone that could possibly be him, except... NAH! Couldn't be! But as the movie neared the end, I figured I just HAD to be right. I agree fully with the comparisons to classic episodes of "The Twilight Zone", and I didn't mind the cheesy sets. It added to the atmosphere of the film. I could envision seeing this on SYFY on Saturday night (they just need to bleep out a couple of F-words), and it is a cut above their usual fare. And, yes, I was right about Mr. O'Brien. If you still don't recognize him, check out the "making of" featurette, where he appears as himself. Overall, this movie was much more entertaining than I expected given that it went direct to video. And if someone drops dead nearby with a box in their hand, don't look inside!

4/5 You are traveling through another dimension...
  by Scorpio69 (Hawaii, America's Paradise)
This movie is a bit Rod Serling-like. Definitely a good Twilight Zone tale here. "Submitted for your approval, one unique, mysterious, and seemingly impregnable box in the possession of a dead man, that beckons all who gaze into it with a siren song of riches untold..." The greed runs wild as the train rolls down the tracks in a blizzard. This one held my interest throughout. Well acted, IMHO -- and besides, Leelee Sobieski is such a beauty I can watch her in anything. A really fun, unique little film.

1/5 Possibly the worst movie ever made?
  by Art Bay (San Francisco)
OK I just rented the video. Hadn't heard anything about the movie but like all 3 of the lead actors. There are low budget movies that sometimes turn out to be little gems, and then there are the low budget movies that are so bad they are good in a perverted kind of way. This one however, has absolutely no redeeming qualities of any kind. First and foremost if you are going to make a movie that takes place on a train, then the least you should do is make it so viewers feel like you are actually on a train. Not so here. For the truly crappy exterior digitally created phony train, and lousy scale models, and the totally unbelievable interior sets, you never for one moment during the entire movie actually believe any of these people are on a train. The story line, if you could call it that makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. Not a clue, nothing is made clearer by the end, and the plot points along the way add to the confusion. I for one think this might be right up there with the worst movies ever made. Yes really that bad. zero stars, zero plot, zero plausibility, zero zero zero. Be forewarned. Final note: if we actually got to see Leelee Sobieski's breasts I would add 1/2 star, but we don't even get that cheap thrill. Oh man was this a stinker of the worst kind. Yes it was.

5/5 The Maltese Zone
  by A Customer (L.A.)
This Mystery Train Neo-Noir Zone film feels like a Teleplay Production from the 50's; so people will see it as a cable flick. It's not that. Cable wouldn't want this piece of un-marketable tripe when they're filled with top "entertainment"?! Not ready for Sly-Fi Channel and it feels so good. Reality based, the story may pass to the supernatural as well as suspense , gore, mystery and it's a Christmas period chiller.
Most panned this film and I see what they hate; but I also see what was meant to entertain. The story is lumpy but filled with more genres than a multiplex. Digital effects as well as blood-lite gore may be bone to pick; but it was all smooth for me. The style, soundtrack, story, setting, the campy allusions and story work the modest budget. Danny, Steve and Leelee are hot
Bottom line: I will watch this many times for mood and fun.
BD is 1080p, the box says i. Sound cuts well and the picture looks fine but the only reference is to old films...as if,....they were made now.