2/5 The only thing to fear here is slipping into a coma from boredom
  by Jay (USA)
The year of 1995 is when I originally saw the Fear as a young kid. Over the years I've had a desire to revisit a lot of these old horror films I'd seen years before to know if they were as bad as I remembered. The answer is yes there are. I decided to dedicate some evenings to watch & review them again leading to an influx of b horror reviews in my profile. I had previously declared Grim as one of the worst I've seen, but the Fear is giving it some serious competition.

The premise of the film is centered around "fear therapy." Richard, a psychology major, decides to put together a group of random students and bring them to his childhood cabin in the woods to run some tests. These tests are to extract the fears out of these folks while telling them to Morty his wooden puppet. Apparently Morty scared the piss out of him as a kid and he thought this was a genius idea to use it as a teaching device. The film drags on and on until Morty finally comes to life proving he is the biggest fear they have, stalking them at every turn. If you can stay awake to see it.

Yet another film that I really wanted to make myself like but just couldn't. It really is one of the most boring "horrors" out there. The acting was the only scary thing about it causing extreme laughter at certain points. Even Wes Craven made an appearance in maybe his worst move to date. He plays Richards' college professor Dr. Arnold and is in the film for about 5 minutes total. He must have been doing it as a favor to the director. All in all The Fear is really awful. I can't even recommend it for the b enthusiasts out there.





2/5 Morty Seinfeld, he's a bum
  by Sid the Elf (North Pole)
As October rapidly approaches it seems a no brainer to continue on the path of b horror, which we and so many others love. This week's film The Fear has been on our radar for quite some time but hasn't been acted upon until we recently purchased it as part of a four pack for $9. So that means this one individually cost $2.25 which still may be a bit too steep. Roughly 12 years ago was the first time we saw the film and couldn't recall much except for how bad it was. Now you may ask, if it's so bad why would you want to watch it again? The logic behind that is when we first saw the film we were kids looking to be legitimately scared. Now instead of looking for scares we seek laughter from the horrible acting and confusing plots. Thats the art of b and the reason we label these films as "unintentional comedies." Under these guidelines you can extract good out of the worst movies ever made providing a very enjoyable viewing experience. The Fear had to fall into this category or couldn't be viewed without slipping into a coma.

The film starts off with psychology student Richard (Eddie Bowz) who has these recurring nightmares from his childhood, but can't seem to figure out their meaning or why they scare him so much. In these dreams he's walking around in the woods where he see's two masked men burying somebody. With this constantly on his mind he decides he'd like to spice up his thesis by running an experiment on a group of people to make them face their darkest fears at his remote childhood cabin in the middle of the woods. He presents this idea to his professor Dr. Arnold (Wes Craven) who approves of the experiment and arranges the weekend trip. Now Richard, who looks like his life ambition was to land a spot on Melrose Place, rounds up this group consisting of his girlfriend Ashley, his friend (Troy) who is under the impression he's black despite his white exterior, Troy's sister Leslie, an actual black guy, and two other forgettable characters. They all hit the road and make their way to the cabin except for Dr. Arnold (Craven), who runs off the movie set screaming I'm a millionare why the hell did I show up for this.

Upon arrival at the cabin we get introduced to our favorite character Uncle Pete who is drunk out of his mind and dressed up like Santa Claus. It seems that Uncle Pete, who owns a tourist Christmas village, still lives where fruity Richard grew up and just happened to drop by this abandoned cabin at the same time his nephew was there. Now you'd think Richard would be happy to see the jolly Uncle Pete but it's quite the contrary. He tells Pete and his slutty young girlfriend they have to beat it because he has to run a very serious yet very b experiment. After Pete and his grilfriend pleed to stay he figures they can be used in the experiment also. Once they get inside the cabin Richard whips out his old friend Morty, who is a large wooden dummy we assume he did some questionable things with. They try to play some creepy music to set the mood but it does nothing. He explains to start the experiment Morty will be placed in a chair and each person will sit in front of the wooden dummy and give an account of their worst fears. Yeah it's much more hilarious when you're watching it. As each person goes the film hits new hieghts of boredom. You sit through this group of losers talk about their fears like they're on Dr. Phil's show in hopes Morty will get up and start knocking everyone off, especially Troy. Out of all the fears non were more pathetic then the homeboy Troy's. We were hoping he would say his biggest fear is coming to terms with the fact that he's white but instead he says bees. Bees, are you kidding? What are you a four year old? No wonder this movie cost less then a large coffee.

As we painfully continue the film turns into a soap opera where everyone exposes their inmost fears. The strangest part came a few minutes later when Troy's sister stepped up to the plate. Apparently she left Troy when he was young which seems to hurt yet turn him on because later he tries to make out with her. It was almost a love scene which was a bit more then uneasy to watch. We didn't know what the hell was going on and would never find out because the situation was never explained. There was just this strange sexual tension between the two. Finally after about a 30 minute stretch of nothing Morty comes to life. Hilarious! We came to the conclusion the he looked like Robin Williams in Bicentenial Man. That was the ongoing joke that kept us going. Once they realize he's allive it turns into somewhat of a slaher film only much more b. He chases them around Uncle Petes tourist village called Santas playhouse, lawsuit is pending, and picks off some of the group. One by one each peson gets it as they run aimlessly through the woods by the cabin. As Richard tries to escape he runs in the cabin and finds uncle Pete drunk again. They start fighting and Pete reveals the secret to why Richard's afraid of Morty. It's because when Richard was young he caught his mom cheating on his dad and ratted her out. Then Dad and Uncle Pete wacked her and buried her in the woods telling him if he ever told anyone then Morty would kill him. Somehow Richard forgot all about his tramatic childhood and now understands the nightmares. So gay! After this Richards confronts Morty to tell him he's no longer afriad. Morty's only response is to freeze up then turn around and walk into the lake. Why the lake? We have no idea. They wrap up this mess by showing a soccer ball rolling down a hill with a kid chasing it. The ball stops at the feet of our wooden friend Morty who apparently got done swimming and wanted to take a stroll through the woods. The kid stops and stares at Morty as he gently kicks the ball to him. It appears Morty changed his murderous puppet ways and will possible get a job working at the local ihop.

All in all this one was still pretty much as bad as we remembered. It was so far from scary but that wasn't our intent anyway. We were looking to Morty for some hilarious b but didn't even get that. The only reason we were generous enough to give this one 2 stars was for the sheer fact that homeboy Troy got killed and all the jokes were were able to make from Richard's turtle necks. Every scene this guy had a new turtle neck on which kept us cracking up. The funniest part was realizing these actors thought this was their big break. Not sure how much glory can come from a straight to video where the star is a man with no lines playing a wooden puppet. Well hope they won't be in the sequal which we'll be reviewing in the near future.

1/5 Rated R for Ridiculous
  by Stanley Virgulto Jr. (Connecticut)
Didn't care for it...I like some "B' movies, but this one was boring, and dry and lame. I'm sorry I got it.

3/5 the fear
  by J. Connor
the dvd arrived in about a week in mint condition. however, this is possibly the worst movie ever made!

5/5 The Fear is the best
  by Sandra Denny (Fernley, NV, USA)
Bought The Fear and it was an awesome movie. It is a timeless movie that you will enjoy every time you watch it.